Got a Dystopian Media? The One Step Fix

Can you tell? It’s finally happened. We have finally reached critical mass media contamination. As an author of dystopian fiction, I think I can see where we’re heading and, spoiler alert, it’s not good. Don’t panic, I’ve got an idea. It’s fairly simple.

Here’s what I think we all need to do now. Break up with the media. Perhaps they will remember their function when they no longer have one.  I know, breaking up is hard to do, that’s why I’ve created the below form letter for everyone! Feel free to share! xx

Dear CNN,

There’s something I have to tell you. It’s not going to be easy for you to hear but… I was using you. I’ve literally been using you all along. It’s true, all I ever really wanted from you was information, but now, I just feel like things have gotten really complicated between us. TBH, recently I almost feel like you’ve started trying to tell me what to think, and you KNOW I am not havin’ that! The truth is, your ‘stealthy edits’ are no longer serving me.

I know what you’re probably thinking, “Shit, you’re dumping me?” Truth is… yes, this is a breakup. It’s not you, it’s me… oh wait, no, IT IS ALL YOU, sorry. But yeah, it’s over between us. I literally NEVER want to see you again—btw I just deleted you from my favorites. I even deleted your stupid app from my phone. And you know what? It felt good! I wished I could have burned it… without having to light my phone on fire… but I couldn’t figure out a way…

Here’s a piece of advise for you, if a news organization like you can’t give a girl like me the basic information I need in an uncontaminated fashion then they have rendered themselves useless to me. I think you know I’m busy AF and I can’t believe I wasted so much time with you! Now it’s just like I can’t believe I ever trusted you!! Sorry, (sigh) I just feel burned.

But hey chin up. No big deal, I’m only one person, right? There are plenty of other fish. Hopefully for you, millions, am I right, you hound dog you… 😉 I’m sure there are lots of people who will still find you attractive, who will find a reason to come around your big network, a reason other than for actual information being that you clearly have issues providing any. I don’t know, maybe there’s someone you can talk to about these ‘information issues’ you’re having, but TBH you’ve got problems. I really feel like you’re at risk of developing an affliction I’ve only heard of existing in other countries, it’s called propaganda. I think you should look into it. I know this is embarrassing but information issues only get worse if left untreated.

Gosh, you’d be in a real pickle if every person who you wanted to spend time with you was arriving at the place I’ve come to—you might start to get pretty lonely. Even worse, if they begin to discover, like I recently have, that you’re so disloyal, that you’ve been cheating with dirty politicians, lying constantly and trying to control what people think do and feel… I’m no media mogul but I suspect at that point you’ll be kind of up a creek. Damn, now that I think about it you may actually die alone CNN. It’s really too bad.

Oh well, listen, give my best to Anderson Cooper 360, Erin Burnett OutFront, and Wolf Blitzer, I’ll miss those 3 but I suspect you’ll be getting them in the break-up. Question, if you weren’t buying your friends do you think you would have any? Don’t answer that. Speaking of YOUR friends, please tell Jake Tapper to go f**k himself for me. I always knew he was covering for you.

So yea, that’s it. Sorry to do this to you over txt.

Well, this is awkward…

Kisses,
Tiffany FitzHenry

Author, The Oldest Soul Trilogy

Voted #1 Best New Adult Series – Goodreads

ANIMUS PNG

Eve has no idea she’s the oldest soul on earth, with a pre-wired connection to every other soul on the planet and that the boy she’s mysteriously drawn to, named Roman, has been her soul mate, her love of nearly three hundred lifetimes—until he tells her.

But what Roman doesn’t mention is that the new genetic test called Animus will soon expose what she is to the whole world and that he’s being tasked with the impossible; steering her, into the open arms of another, a boy named Jude. She’ll learn that Jude’s the only brand new soul on earth; the one who’s come to change the world, and that the future of humanity rests in their intertwined destiny.

Here are some things people are saying about Animus:

“Watch out Katniss, Eve is here.” Goodreads

“Every aspect of this book appealed to me. I was drawn in by characters that I wanted to love or hate, and flawless descriptive writing. There was a perfect tempo to the story and each chapter ended with me yearning to know what happens next. Neil Gaiman watch out!” Author Sidney Wood

“Captivating and intelligently written. The cliffhanger ending stabs your heart, leaving a gaping wound that needs to be satisfied by the knowledge of what happens next.” Reader’s Favorite, 5 Stars

Buy Animus Today:

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